Was reading the cheery tabloids Today to find the devastating news, the EU are trying stop Irn Bru. Now I know that it has artificial colouring but doesn't every other successful, delicious drink? I know it's very likely contributing to our great country's over weight problem but read my theory:
If you get rid of Irn bru (Barr's major player in their business) Barrs would fail, no longer will we have those 37 pence drinks, instead having to fork out on 85 pence bottles of water (I know I do it too but why? Whatever happened to the tap) soon we would be extra careful due to the massive change of price in drink, we will find ourselves putting away those McCoys and deliberating whether or not we can stretch out for those space raiders and possibly that Freddo (but only because it's a Friday and you're treating yourself). A famine would hit across The Christ's Kingdom because of resorting to breaking the commandment of theft (not the whole of Scotland we'll just copy from our neighbours of the south and loot).
The country will be hit by a major loss in jobs (with the loss of Barrs) taxes will rise for the redundancies and with a Tory government, we might find ourselves in a Laissez Faire situation again.
Exportations would come to a halt (if the Romans couldn't break past Hadrian's wall then there's no chance now, we have Smeaton). The gaming industry would fall (due to Dundee dominating that industry) and from then on everyone is doomed, what will the angry little kid across road do now without killing Nazi Zombies or gang lords, who will they turn to dun dun dun!
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